Becoming Mentally Healthy by Paula Sweet at Absolute Mind

This is episode number 136 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this show is all about dealing with fear and unhelpful emotions

This was another request from the Facebook audience so thank you so much appointment through and allowing me to create content that will hopefully help you in some way.

Please do bear in mind that Paula and I created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Paula on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

So let's get to some tips and understanding about dealing with general fear.


The very fact that you're listening to his podcast means that you should have awareness of the U have some irrational fears or unhelpful thoughts that you'd like to deal with. The key here is to be aware that fear is just a feeling. That sounds strange but we've been having them for years, and feelings perfectly safe.

What Scares You?

This is time to identify and understand what is specifically that scares you. think about the situations where you have become fearful and emotions begin to run high, and see if you can notice patterns and really identify what is the actually scares you.

Talk to Someone

Here is an interesting angle. If you're fearful about something you have some unwanted emotions, open up and speak to someone you trust them like. The interesting part is if you feel silly by talking about these fears then perhaps you already know, that there is nothing to fear because even you know it's rational. however, running it passed someone else can really help you give perspective.

In fact, you are able to get some perspective even on your own. Think about someone who you like and know and someone who is on the surface at least a balanced thinker. Ask yourself, "what would x  be thinking about the situation?"

This technique is a wafer you to delve into another person's perspective. It can be remarkable how different the answer becomes. Ultimately this will allow you to begin to relieve some of those fears.

You Are What You Eat

I hate to always bring diet into psychological and emotional issues. But there is a direct correlation to how a person feels and what is they put into their body. have a think, is your body in a state of nourishment where it's able to repair and look after itself? Or is your body being challenged in battle, bombarded every day with foods that it's difficult to process and rebuild from?

The body is an amazing thing, but the body and mind are one thing. We all know that what we eat we become. I haven't met a balanced controlled thinker who lived on beige or fried foods, sugary snacks and energy drinks. The two simply don't go hand-in-hand.


I know I sort of touched on caffeine in the paragraph above, by really can't say this enough. Anything that stimulates you, caffeine, energy drinks etc, in dramatically affect the way a person feels and thinks. caffeine is a known mental stimulant, and if you're in the habit of thinking negatively or fearfully, then caffeine will only exacerbate the issue. I'm not suggesting that caffeine is the cause. But absurdly suggesting that if you are feeling anxious fearful or full of emotion, the caffeine can have a negative effect.

Use The Right Questions

If you've heard this podcast before, you'll know how much I recommend using an understanding the right kinds of questions when dealing with any issue.

Let's dive into a little touch of science. whenever you ask yourself a question, whatever it is, there's a part of your brain (Reticular Activating System) that seeks to answer your questions and make you right.

Let me give you an example. Perhaps you're talking to a friend about an old 1980s movie, the name of the main actor simply slips out of your mind, you're going over and over saying what's the guy's name, what was he called again?....Your memory seems to have failed you, but wait a minute something very strange happens hours and sometimes even days later. The answer seems to appear like a bolt out of the blue. This is your RAS answering a question that you've asked.

Your memory seems to have failed you, but wait a minute something very strange happens hours and sometimes even days later. The answer seems to appear like a bolt out of the blue. This is your RAS answering a question that you've asked.

So it's time to start to get clever with your questions. questions like:

What can I do today that will make me feel less fearful?
What resources can I find inside to help me deal with this irrational fear?
What small dietary changes can I make right now that will allow me to feel less fearful?

questions really are the answer, so really have a think about the types of questions you're asking yourself. Questions like will this ever go away, can I take this much more, is this can get worse, these are all examples of questions that now you understand how your brain works will be more can prove disastrous.

It's time for you to take control of your own questions and therefore your own emotions. I'm not suggesting the questions are the be all and end all. But I am suggesting it's something you can start to do right now and have a dramatic effect on the way you feel.

Direct download: 136_-_Dealing_With_Fear_And_Unhelpful_Emotions.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:11pm BST

This is session number 135 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this was a request. You know who you are so thank you and I really do hope you receive value from it. This show is all about recovering from a break up with your partner.

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Some Ideas of How To Get Over a Break-Up

1. Remind Yourself of Everything and Be Real

It's very easy to think back to an old relationship and only thing of all of the amazing times. This is catastrophizing thinking and only leads one way.... To feeling worse. Be honest about the good of course and be pleased about it, but also remember the bad and the downright ugly and embarrassing.

2. Allow Yourself Some Time and Space

When you think about all of the emotions that come up after a relationship breakdown. You really need to bear in mind that this will take some time to recover. Give yourself some breathing space, your brain will be going over thinking about things like the frustration, the anger to hurt or the pain.  all of these are not helpful in any way, but they will present themselves in the early days the time and space really are your friend.

People work through emotions in various different ways, but one thing is sure in the early days the feelings are most present will be sadness and upset. Expect this, but don't beat yourself up about it an important fact to understand about this grieving process for an ex is that as each day passes, those feelings will begin to subside and you will begin to feel better.

3. Time for You

Relationships mean that two people come together in some way. Now there must be a benefit in being on your own and finding yourself once more! What I'm suggesting here is that there is time to rediscover yourself, and find the you that you really are.

Relationships are all about finding a happy medium, and doing what's right for you, your partner and overall the relationship. when you not bound by these restrictions you can really begin to find the true you. You may be fortunate enough that the true you is the one you see every morning in the mirror now. But in most cases, people hold back in certain ways and don't find their true self when they're in a relationship.

So spend some time to find the true, real you.

4. Time for You Time for Change

We are creatures of habit, this is one of the problems where the relationship breaks down because a part of our habits and our routine suddenly disappears. The phone doesn't ring when it used to, the texts don't ping at lunchtime and life changes cried dramatically.

This sudden change in circumstance and situation means that your life does change, but if the breakdown was not your choice, then it can feel like your life is falling apart around you.

So it's time to take charge, spend some time doing things that you wouldn't normally do, or didn't used to have the time to do. They could be things like salsa dancing going to the gym learning a new skill. Now don't see these as ways to distract yourself, is more like ways to improve and become a better version of yourself, because you're actively using your time as you choose to.

5. Questions Are The Answer

The quality fo your questions defines the quality of your feelings. Beware of faulty questions loops.

Why Me?
Who will they go out with now?
Will they be better?

Change those types of questions to:

Why am I better because of that relationship?
What have I learned about myself?
What changes do I want to make in my next relationship?

Direct download: 135_-_Tips_and_Hypnosis_To_Get_Over_An_Ex.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:42pm BST

This is session number 134 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this show is all about the Best Mans speech. Even though being the best man is only a token part of the wedding, for those given the task problem of performing the speech, it's undoubtedly a nerve-racking time.

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Okay, so your friends getting married, and they've done you the justice or disservice of asking you to deliver the best man speech. As well as all the important stuff like organising the stag do in various other hilarious events that you'll probably choose not to tell about. You also have to get prepared to deliver a speech and do your best friend, the Groom, the honourable duties. Let's face it, the pressure does seem to be mounting for you.

Some of the fears about delivering a best man speech.

Generally, the biggest fear about delivering a best man speech is about doing a good job and not looking stupid. With the attendance of weddings generally being in the hundreds, there are lots of nervous eyeballs watching and listening to every word. Making a fool of yourself is not something anybody wants to do.

What if the words simply do not come out? This is quite strange fear but very real nonetheless. Because most people don't practice standing up delivering speeches to large groups of people, we often find ourselves imagining doing that but the worst possible thing happens. No word that you come out of our mouths, were blank, stuck, paused in time with everyone nervously watching. Not knowing what to say, or not having the right words come out is a very common fear.

Will the bride and brides family like it? The only way to know is to ask afterwards. Truth be known, if you are thinking this way before delivering your speech then at least you got a heads up. You should be able to tailor your speech so that you feel it will fit. Why start a speech with any preconceived anxieties about how certain part will go? Perhaps run some of the content past a friend or colleague and get them to sense check it.

Some tips in delivering a great best man speech

The biggest problem is usually fear, and that fear is anxiety. Therefore as with all anxieties and fears, it is highly recommended that you reduce any other external stimuli. These are things like caffeine drinks, energy drinks tea’s and coffee’s for at least 48 hours before the big day. If you do drink lots of these drinks normally, then I'd highly advised that you begin to reduce these are a good few weeks before the event so that you don't crash on the actual day that you need to perform.

Creating anxiety and fear will be easy on the day. Make life easy for yourself and get rid of those external forces which build anxiety.

Practice makes permanent. Therefore if you practice your content and know your content it with far more likely that you will be able to deliver your content in just the right way. A great tip for that content, break it up into multiple sections that are easy to remember, and remember each section, each chunk, each part so that you are able to pull it all together on the day. Also, the segregation of the content allows you to miss a piece and then come back into another paragraph or another chunk quite easily.

Whenever you practice your speech make sure you're practising it realistically. Make sure you're standing and projecting and talking out to the back of the room to make sure that your voice is being heard. You need to make it as real as possible so that when you do come to do the real task you've practised what it is that you'd like to make permanent.

What is your body saying?

Your body language will play a huge part in the role of delivering successful best man speech. Even if you know the content, if your body is closed off and not expressive, it will be very difficult for people to engage with you, warm with you, most of all deemed it as a success. Interestingly though, by acting confident in using your arms and projecting, pausing all the right times you find that your audience really connects and engages with what you're saying. Have a little look at the Amy Cuddy TED talk about power poses and use these tips to your advantage. Also………. Pausing to emphasise different sections is a very effective method while delivering your speech.

And I wouldn't be authentic here if I didn't include the use of hypnosis to allow you to calm your nerves and build confidence way before the event. Hypnosis is a fantastic tool for you to memorise certain processes but also to allow you to build confidence for a particular event.

Acting as if! From now on, act as if this is something that you really want to do. You start to bring yourself into a state of confidence, and this will also help to mitigate any unwanted banter from the rest of the groomsmen. Showing your confident and not fazed about doing the event because you are practised, will inhibit some of the unnecessary and certainly undesirable comments and statements that you would normally have received. After all, that's what friends are for. Lol

Direct download: 134_-_Best_Mans_Speech_Tips_and_Hypnosis.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:09pm BST

This is session number 133 of the Absolute Mind Podcast and this show is all about Body Building with Hypnosis. Becoming more muscular and physically stronger as a result of resistance training with the right mindset and having you conscious and subconscious mind on board.

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It's May 2017 and bodybuilding for both men and women seems to be at an all-time high. Strong is the new skinny, and strong is perceived as sexy. Instagram, twitter and Facebook are full of men and woman scantily clad showing off their bodies. Bodybuilding is a new health fad that seems to be on the rise.

But how can hypnosis help with Bodybuilding, surely it's just about lifting weights right?

There are a number of ways Hypnosis can help you on your body building journey. Let's start with the most practical ones first.

Bodybuilding is hard! In order to get the body you want you have to work very hard at the gym keeping in mind safe limitations. It's well documented that your body changes due to external stressors put on the body. Your mindset needs to be right. You have to maximise your sessions in the gym.Those last few repetitions are the ones that can make the difference to your body, and ultimately, they are the hardest ones to do because it's too easy to give up.

So hypnosis can be used to allow you to push yourself hard while in the gym.


Hypnosis can it also be used to begin to imagine the kind of results that you are looking for a while bodybuilding. If you read any book about goal setting or achieving your goals, you will find that having a desired clear outcome in your mind very important.

There is no better way other than hypnosis to create an internal state, a picture in your mind of what it is that you want to create in your body. Having that very clear picture in your mind allows every nerve fibre and tissue of you to focus on the outcome.

In order to grow muscles, calories are needed. Lots of bodybuilders all people new to bodybuilding struggle with the dietary aspects required.

It's not easy to build muscle, it takes hard work in the gym, as well as hard work in the kitchen. This is where being structured and methodical pays off.

Direct download: 133_-_Better_BodyBuilding_With_Hypnosis.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:02pm BST