Becoming Mentally Healthy by Paula Sweet at Absolute Mind

This is session number 132 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this show is all about overcoming the fear and anxiety around eating more fruit and vegetables.

This show was decided upon due to a request on Facebook so thank you for that. You know who you are. Remember guys, we are real people, we do reply, and we do exist. Come and connect with us on Facebook

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Interestingly, those of you who are regular listeners probably don't realise quite how much of a tribe you are all a part of. The Absolute Mind podcast has been downloaded over 820,000.00 as of the 9th March 2017 and we are currently on a growth rate of 3200 extra downloads per day.

So here is my ask, Who do you know who you can share this podcast with? I don't care if you like us on Facebook and share it with your friends or tell them, email them and ask them to become a part of the Absolute Mind community.

So one things for sure, this podcast is extremely popular and I think is about time we all get connected on Facebook. So check us out at absoluteminduk

Eating more fruits and vegetables, is not just about taking a healthy decision. It really is about building your health from the core. Now this isn't a health and fitness related podcast, far from it. But those of you who know Paula and myself, we are extremely dedicated to building health and wellness in all those people around us. Eating fruits and vegetables is absolutely essential for your body to repair, and function in the way it needs to. It's not really a matter of choice, it's more a matter of necessity.

So this is a very serious podcast, and for those people who do suffer with the anxiety and fear around fruits and vegetables, the implications are more than just being fussy with food. The science tells us, though well rounded balance diet including fresh fruits and vegetables is essential for our bodies to grow, repair, create and feel the way that they need to feel.

This ties into the first point, if your body is not operating efficiently, it will start to produce feelings and symptoms to let you know something is wrong. Ironically, anxiety and fear are induced or exacerbated whenever a body is starving. And when I say starving, I don't mean physically hungry, I'm on about nutrient deficient.

Many people can eat lots of food but still be nutrient deficient, therefore your body will start to cry out to react in different ways. Anxiety fear symptoms that will definitely become apparent.

So you can see the first issue here. If a person feels anxious or fearful around eating fruit and vegetables, there is a small chance, that if they were to eat those foods more regularly the body will begin to function in a way and balances its own stress levels and perhaps, some of the anxiety and fear around those foods would begin to diminish.

As a bit of a sidetrack, there are two words that surround food and healthy eating. Those words are health and diet. Have you ever heard the saying that the closing the question? Or how about the message is in the word? The first four letters of health are heal and the first three letters of diet die.

What we put in our mouth directly affects whether our body is slowly healing, or slowly dying. Either way, it's a slow and gradual process, a little bit like producing a garden or allotment. You need to pull all the right ingredients and nurture them in the right way to create the right outcomes. Fruit and vegetables are those right ingredients to allow your body to heal to grow and regenerate.

So how does a person who is fearful and repulsed by fruits and vegetables even begin to start.

Remember what I said earlier, the clue is in the question, or the answer is in the statement? The right answer here, is simply to start the process.

Start small, and add the least repulsive fruits or vegetables to your dish every single day. Get used to having them around, used to seeing them, touched, squeeze them, squish them. The more you surround yourself with those things that you fear, the more you'll be able to overcome the repulsion and begin accepting.

To give you something can properly connect with here, if you go to a smelly farm, all you can smell for the first half an hour are farm smells. After a short while, your body begins to react and adapt, and you soon don't recognise those repulsive smells.

It's all about doing something different, and bringing into your reality those things that you once feared and allow you to overcome them. Keeping them at a distance will only make them more elusive and powerful to you.

The next part here is all about stopping the excuses. In most cases, those who fear or don't eat fruit or vegetables, never have done. Those people can begin to associate with that as part of their being and say things like “I've never eaten vegetables, I just don't like them”. That association, and belief pattern will begin to form and the chance of you allowing fruits and vegetables into your life and later date diminishes.

The thing is, this is just a habit that is forming, but not only is it forming, your nurturing it along the way. There are many habits that we have as children, that we grow out of, taking our nose biting your nails just generally lots of repulsive things that as adults we grow out of.

To take the first step, it is recognised that just because you've never done something doesn't mean you can't, it's all about learning to grow in doing things differently, you feel stronger for it and your ability to overcome challenges later on in life will be greatly improved as you overcome this seemingly massive obstacle.

Your first reaction will begin to set the tone. What I mean by this, is you're far more likely to experience a phobia, fear or repulsion against something if you at first expect to. Therefore, you really need to become versed in experiencing vegetables, fruits and notice your initial reaction. I dare say at first, your nose will be turned up your head may be frowning and you'll be pulling pulling a funny faces. If you're attempting to try fruits and vegetables when you're in that state, you simply will not stand a chance. If you've listened to this podcast before, you'll know that I say regularly that your expectation defines your reality.

So again, in order to tame your initial first reaction. To do this you buy those foods, play with those foods, cook with those foods and experience those foods to become more associated with them in and not positive way, but at least a neutral way.

Because food phobias and dislikes can generally be all in your head, hypnosis can be extremely effective at helping you along that path. But don't expect miracles just listening to this session once.

I'd strongly advise, that you listen to this hypnosis session every other day for the next couple of weeks. Include some of those useful tips about handling and buying fruits and vegetables. Also notice what your face does whenever you hold or get close to fruits and vegetables. You really are working on avoiding building up feelings of anxiety and fear. And as the book says Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jefferson. There really is no better cure to overcome anything than simply, doing it.

Direct download: 132_-_Start_Eating_Fruit_and_Veg_for_Better_Health.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:06pm BST

This is session number 131 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this show is all about overcoming OCD and getting on with your life normally.

Obsessive compulsive disorders can be extremely limiting. The impulse or feeling that OCD creates around different areas of our lives can make a living day to day normally feel impossible.

In this podcast, I outline some simple tips and strategies that you can actively begin to work on to aim to overcome OCD.

The end of this podcast, also has a hypnotherapy session to help guide you through this process.

Before we dive into this podcast, Paula and I have been actively promoting a weight loss package offer on this podcast. The most popular podcast out of all of these so far, has been the weight loss Hypnosis session with 48220 downloads to date.

Here is the Podcast Weight Loss Offer Page

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But so many of you contacted us to say that you'd like a bit more help with weight loss, and asked for a more rounded weight loss program. This is exactly why Paula created the weight loss download offer.

This package has been extremely successful over the past few months and has helped many of you, and thank you so much for sending the personal messages on Facebook and emails to myself and Paula, telling us your successes and journey so far we really do appreciate them.

We decided, that as of the end of March we will be pulling this Weight loss offer as we feel we want to create some more packages around other extremely popular podcasts. We will cover anxiety, depression, building confidence and also relationships.

Again, we aim to create a 10 session hypnosis package for you to listen to directly on your phone without the need to download the tracks for simplicity.

So, those of you who are interested in the current weight loss download offer. I'll put a link in the show notes so you can get to it there. Or alternatively, visit and purchase this package now for only £19 UK pounds. Remember, if you're listening to this after March 2017. This offer will have expired.

So, let's go on with the tips to help you overcome OCD.

Tip 1: It’s trying to be helpful

This one may be quite difficult to swallow, but usually an OCD is there to protect you in some way shape or form. There is a part of us that feels that we need to carry out the certain task or ritual in order to be safe and in some cases happy. The OCD process has been fabricated through some strange and passed habit, but is there now to protect and preserve you. So understand that your OCD is not a foe but it is trying to be a friend.

Tip 2: Don’t fight it

Whenever our OCD is kicking, don't try to actively fight that thought. If you think about it, by trying to avoid the OCD, you're simply adding fuel to the issue by telling your brain this is something to be fearful of, something you don't like, something you want to get rid of. Therefore, it will begin to create an anchor which is a point in time to reference a later date to bring back quickly the negative feelings associated with it. So in simple terms just let it be a strange is that maybe.

Tip 3: FEAR

The word fear, has been broken down into many different acronyms to help a person understand. But if you use the acronym Face Everything And Recover for fear then you can begin to apply the methodology to your OCD. This ties in slightly to the above tip which is don't fight it, face everything and recover is all about dealing with what presents and working to overcome it. The more you practice this, the better you will become it it and the more likely you will be to overcome that particular OCD.

So practice on the small stuff first, in ways that your OCD may not be a strong, and face it, deal with it, and notice how you begin to feel better that you've done so. Remember, don't fight it, and don't get frustrated because it's there to try to be helpful.

Tip 4: Reduce your general anxiety levels

You won't find a calm and relaxed person who has a debilitating OCD. Your general anxiety level, is a gauge of how quickly, and easily you can become anxious to a point of reaction. OCD is our level of reaction to anxiety, and therefore if you're able to reduce your overall anxiety levels, then you will notice your ability to deal with your OCD becomes far easier. This is why hypnosis is extremely good at dealing with OCD, because a large part of hypnosis is about creating relaxation and calmness.

Tip 5: Feelings are safe

It can be quite difficult to stomach, the saying that feelings are safe, and they can't hurt you. Because those people who are suffering from anxiety, fear, OCD’s and depression, can't relate to that comment. Let me put it this way, out feelings are created from within, no one does them to you know one gives them to you, they are all self generated. Another fact about feelings is we've been having them from millions of years and is part of our genetics and I will make up therefore they are completely natural and a big part of life. The big part here for you, will be about controlling the negative thoughts and feelings to ensure you feel more balanced.

So keep that in mind, feelings are perfectly safe, we've been having them since the dawn of time.

Direct download: 131_-_Overcoming_OCD_and_Getting_on_With_Life_Normally.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:53pm BST

This is session number 130 of the Absolute Mind podcast, and this show is all about getting things done and getting closer to your goals.

We all have goals that we want to achieve, or things that we absolutely would love to get done. However our life seemed to be bombarded with things that we need to get done, rather than things that we want to get done.

I'm going to outline 8 tips here for you to feel more focused and get the things that matter to you done. After all, if you do that, you're far more likely to achieve your goals.

Tip 1: Plan

Okay, sorry to start with the most boring one, but you've heard the saying, if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. But look at it this way, when you plan, you set your intention on what is that you want to do. There's another caveat to planning which is also beneficial. Whenever you plan an activity ahead of time, your brain will carry on looking for ways to maximise the output of what you plan, before you carry out that work. Therefore, not only are you being more productive, but you will also be more accurate and there I say creative.

Get quite specific when you plan also. Make sure what you plan to do, is within the realms of possibility in the timeframe you have set. If you start on the habit of setting goals and plans, and not completing them, you will build up a negative association which will prevent you from achieving what you want to.

Tip 2: Avoid distractions

A friend of mine explained that we now live in a world full of WMD. But when I say WMD, I'm not referring to weapons of mass destruction, more like weapons of Mass distraction.

Weapons of Mass distraction are things like, emails, text messages, social media and phone calls. We are being bombarded every single day with things that require small amounts of our time, but pull us off our train of thought. These distractions massively cut into our time, flow and creativity.

So any given time when you are setting out to work on something that's important to you, make sure you have switched off all notifications and any form of distraction to allow you to get done, what is you need to do.

Tip 3: Set a schedule

In just the same way that exercise in the gym becomes easier when we schedule it, and stick to it. Working on things that we want to is also the same. If you schedule to work on your one thing, your goal each and every day for a specific amount of time, at a specific time, you'll be far more likely to fall into a habit and a routine and carry on producing.

Imagine having a schedule time when you get into flow, and as practice makes permanent, as you continue with this you will find that it feels natural to do.

Tip 4: Multitasking is a myth

It's not big or clever to work on more than one thing. It just makes you procrastinate, and perform poorly. This is part of the planning and scheduling piece but you must ensure that you are working on one very clear piece of work at any one time.

Being a multitasking master is a bit like being a procrastinating plonker. You don't want to be either of those to get focused, get clear, and get done what it is you set out to do.

Tip 5: Pomodoro technique

Developed in the late 80s, this technique is based upon breaking down intervals of work, normally into about 25 minute chunks and separated by about 5 minute breaks. It has been suggested, that your peak state of creativity and work last about 25 minutes. So using this Pomodoro technique can really allow you to maximise your time, whilst even scheduling in small breaks. Sounds perfect right? You'll find lots of resources to use as a time on YouTube if you search for it.

Tip 6: Look after yourself

In order to perform at your best and get those things done that are important to you, you willing to look after you. This seems slightly oxymoronic you need to spend time on yourself to give you more time for yourself. But the science is clear, if you look after your mental and physical well-being, you'll be more productive, creative and proactive. Watch what you drink, watch what you eat and get some exercise and of course sleep.

Tip 7: Can you do this in the morning?

If possible, find the time you need every morning before everything else starts. There are a number of reasons for this. Firstly, motivation and willpower are a little bit like a muscle, and they wear down throughout the day as you use them. So in the morning, when your fresh, start the work that you want to do and that you want to be focused in.

There is a great book written by Hal Elrod called the miracle morning where he outlines why first thing in the morning is your most productive, creative and the best time to you to get closer to your goals.

Tip 8: Don’t stop until the timer says

I'm working on something for yourself, give yourself the time that you had planned and scheduled in. Even if you find your creative juices aren't flowing, use that time to brainstorm, mind map and break out. But do not quit and give up until the time says so. Again, this is a bit like training muscle and the better you get at sticking to your schedule, the more creative during those times you will be.

All tips and ideas are fantastic, but unless you apply some of them, you really will see no benefit.

The hypnosis part of this is really about you clearing your mind setting your goals and intentions are really being rigid with the goals that you have set yourself for all those reasons you have chosen.

Direct download: 130_-_Getting_Closer_to_Your_Goals_by_Getting_More_Done.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:48pm BST

This is session number 129 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this session is all about becoming a better version of you.

Now this seems to be quite an abstract title and reason to want to listen to this, but you'd be extremely surprised that there are large numbers of people who just want to be better, yet they can't seem to describe what better is. So a better version of yourself really does sum it up.

I'm going to give you six tips here of things you can do to try and make yourself a better, more enhanced version of yourself. Remember, don't try and think this as you are becoming perfect, it's simply a matter of improving and pushing yourself, because so much in life is about pushing yourself. Take education, exercise, and even mental quizzes are all ways of pushing ourselves beyond our own boundaries. And I think from a healthy psychological point of view this is a good thing.

Tip 1: Be nice to yourself

The very first part about becoming a better version of yourself is stopping the negative self talk. Sure, doubts and negative perceptions of yourself will creep in from time to time. But it's important to recognise when that happens and stop it in its tracks.

Most of us, talk about ourselves negatively without even thinking about it. But as you’re problem you already aware by now have to listen to this show you'll understand that the brain does not recognise the difference between an imagined event or a real one. Therefore talking to yourself negative, and thinking of yourself negatively can only produce one thing. A negative you.

Tip 2: Focus on what you want

Now in order to consider creating a better version of you, you'll first need to know what is you want to better at or certainly achieve. Like all things in life, we improved by knowing the outcome and working towards that.

Get clear on what it is you want, and more importantly why you want it, and what that will do for you when you have it.

Tip 3: Use the power of I am

We use the term “I am” all of the time without giving it a second thought. But there is power in that statement, power that you need to harness for all the right reasons. We know the negative connotations and how powerful they can be when a person says things like I am useless, I am rubbish, I'm stupid. They're not nice things to hear, because you realise by using the term I am people are really connecting with what they are saying.

So as you can see, there's magic in that statement as long as you use that in the right way. so try terms like “I am in control” “I am confident” “I am learning” “I am always discovering new opportunities” “I am growing” “and I am becoming a better version of myself”

Tip 4: Stop procrastination

There's a saying that perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. Put simply, procrastination is just laziness but with a really nice word. Procrastination, or laziness is very easy to discover if you have no direction or focus on what is that you want.

So get very clear on your goals, get very clear on your outcomes, and also get very clear on your schedules and make sure that you deliver on your outcomes and goals. Like anything, getting going on this is not easy. But everything that is worth doing isn’t.

Tip 5: I never did mind about the little things

This was a sentence I heard back in the late 90s in a film, and it really stuck with me. In its simplest terms, it means stop worrying about all the small things that life throws at us. And just get on with it. I know what you're saying, it's easier said than done, trust me it happens to me every day to. But it's about reframing, and recognising when it is happening because the small things are those that can drain us of our passion, tenacity and purpose.

So don't sweat the small stuff and get on with your goals your purpose and what you want from life.

Tip 6: Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

This is all about learning new things. Doing things we've never done before, and really pushing our own boundaries. This really builds a sense of power and self-control that were achieving things that we have never tried before. There is no better feeling than achieving something that you've never tried, or even thought you could never do.

I believe it's one of the meanings of life that we continually overcome challenge and adversity. To get used to setting yourself tasks where you feel uncomfortable, and get comfortable with that.

Have some fun implementing some of the tips to become a better version of you.

Direct download: 129_-_Becoming_a_Better_Version_of_You.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:22pm BST

This is session number 128 of the absolute mind podcast and this show is all about letting go of frustration that we have when we are in relationships.

When relationships are brand-new we feel quite relaxed about another person's quirks and personality. But as time goes by, and we lived with our partners, the smallest of issues can really begin to grate us. This frustration over the smallest things can ultimately ruin a relationship.

In this podcast I'm going to go through several tips and techniques for you to become more forgiving, and not put so much emphasis on those small quirks that really do make you become frustrated.

The interesting part is most people in relationships do feel frustrated by their partners for the tiniest little things. So much so, in that if you were to talk to another person about what bothers you, it might seem really insignificant, but to you, there's nothing more frustrating.

Tip 1: Does it really matter?

Does it really matter, is an interesting question because of course it matters that moment that the toilet roll is put on the wrong way. But in the grand scheme of things, that wasn't an issue again this time until you've seen it again. The reason why this is interesting, is because you seem to let it go, in between times and that this little quirk happens.

So you're not permanently angry that the toilet rolls put on the wrong way, or that the toothpaste is squeezed from the middle of the tube, or that their shoes left at the door and not in the cupboard. Rather you become frustrated and angry again when that happens again. So that there are large periods of time in between that were it simply doesn't matter. So you need to ask yourself the question. Will this matter to me in two hours? Hopefully the answer is no and that should allow you to reduce your frustration.

Tip 2: They are not trying to annoy you

Frustration usually bills because one of the partners believes that the other is doing their quirk just to get on their nerves. Aren't we such funny beings, that we really think that someone would go to the extra effort, just to annoy us time and time again, to cause an argument that they wouldn't want either.

The little bit of understanding here that we are not all the same, if we were life would be extremely boring. So whenever you think that they're being annoying, which means actively trying to annoy you by doing those quirks that you don't like. Your most probably wrong.

Tip 3: Snake bite

If you're a regular listener to Absolute Mind podcast, then you will have heard myself and Paula talk about the principle that no one ever dies from the snakebite, it's the venom inside that kills.

Put simply, this means just let go of the anger or frustration. The venom that courses around you is doing you harm and is absolutely nothing helpful about it. You put the venom there, so the quicker you allow that venom to subside, the better you will feel.

It's a bit like poking and opening a cut, and then complaining about it not healing and hurting.

Tip 4: Be nice

There's another great saying in relationships that if you get the chance to be right or kind, choose kind. Now of course there is an element here that you can become extremely boring and not challenge or question your partner in a relationship. But there's also a piece here that so many people in relationships, constantly challenge and unnecessarily question their partner's views or opinions.

So if you find yourself with something on the tip of your tongue about to correct or object about something your partner is done. Remember, you have a choice here, you choose to be right and comment or you choose to be kind and enjoy the rest of your evening?

Tip 5: If they don’t want to, why should I

So many relationships are built on giving and taking. You have heard this so many times while growing up also. However there is a massive problem with this. If you wait to get before you'll receive, and both people in a relationship do the same, then you're both never get or give anything.

So get used to giving first, and giving again, and expecting nothing in return. Take control and plan the nights out, planned the birthdays, and give without expecting. This way, you will more than likely find that the favours, helpfulness will come back. If not, remember one of the other tips that were all different? Just enjoy the process.

Tip 6: People are all different, so relationships

Don't base your relationship on someone else's model of a relationship. We are all different, and therefore each relationship has to be different. So don't expect the same as what someone else has. However, you really do need to expect to have love, trust, openness and a connection. But remember to tie this into the other tips, and don't just show love, trust, openness and connection as long as you get in return. Show it, and do it anyway and notice how your relationship will flourish.

Direct download: 128_-_Better_Relationships_by_Letting_go_of_Frustration.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05pm BST