Tue, 28 February 2017
This is session number 127 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this show is all about how to Control the Amount of Alcohol You Drink.
As most of you know Paula and I are therapists and deal with people's one-to-one issues on a regular basis. Drinking is something that comes up frequently because it can be so detrimental whenever a person relies upon alcohol.
The purpose of this podcast though, is to give you some tips and insights on ways you can control the amount of alcohol you drink. The reason I think this is important is because our society uses alcohol in many ways to celebrate and be joyful, and in the right amounts, is not harmful or dangerous to most people.
So the aim of this podcast is to allow you to regain your control over alcohol. It's also for those who feel that you have a dependence on alcohol, and for those of you who not only drink alcohol when you're happy, but also do when you're sad, stressed, excited, celebrating and even drowning sorrows.
So here are 7 quick tips to allow you to regain control over drinking alcohol.
Tip 1: Write down your reasons
Even though we all know the general reasons around wanting to control alcohol, putting down on paper what personally important to you can be massively beneficial. It's been documented that when a goal is written it is far more likely to be achieved. The same goes for when a problem is scribed, it's far more likely to feel real in your mind, and most importantly, give you the motivation to make changes. Things like; you'll feel healthier, happier, more relaxed, more in control are just some of the things that you may discover. But make your list, and really hone in on your reasons to want to control the amount of alcohol you drink.
Tip 2: How much is too much?
In order to achieve any goal, or make any change, you need to understand exactly what the boundaries are. For example if you say that you want to reduce the amount of alcohol that you drink, by how much, what will change? etc. It’s time to get clear on what is the actually want. You need to get specific here because if you say things like I only want to drink twice a week, the creative side of you may think, I'll drink once for three days and once for four days. Specificity that you might look something like I will allow myself a bottle of wine on a Saturday night and two cans of lager on a Friday night.
Tip 3: Make it real and keep track
It's a fact, we lie to ourselves all of the time. Therefore, it's very important that you begin to keep a record of how much and how often you are drinking. It doesn't need to be a full-blown diary. When you keep track, you are able to understand the reality, rather than a jaded perception built over time. Documenting and journalling is a fantastic way to understand your habitual patterns, which will ultimately allow you to feel more empowered going forward.
Tip 4: When is willpower required?
I hear this all the time, from people telling me that they feel that the alcohol just calls them from the cupboard whenever they've had a bad or stressful day. My response to that is simple, who puts in the cupboard in the first place? Willpower has been proven to be like a muscle, we have far more willpower at the start of the day when the feeling more energetic, but as we use our decision-making process throughout the day, our willpower wanes. So now you know this there is no problem, you're now able to make the right choices whenever your shopping, because your shop at the right time, with a focus on all the things that you want, all your reasons for wanting to reduce alcohol consumption. Don't wait for your willpower to fail you, make sure you make those right choices when you're shopping first.
Tip 5: Nature fills a vacuum
Basically, this means that whenever you remove something from your life, you're more than likely replace it with something else. This could be fine, but it also could be problematic. The issue with nature filling a vacuum is that you can never quite be sure what it will fill it with. Unless you plan to. My suggestion here would be to actively planned to drink something like sparkling water, or an Artisan water in replacement for alcohol. So when you're going to the shops you can actively go and purchase a bottle of liquid that you can drink, just as you done so over the years but this time you're replacing the alcohol with something far more healthier and more conducive to your goals.
Tip 6: There is no wagon and you can't fall off it
Metaphors can be extremely helpful to understand the given situation. But they can also be massively problematic as they can cause blockages that we cannot metaphorically undo. Metaphors can make us believe something is true even when it isn't. Take “falling off the wagon” as an example for those of you who have tried to reduce drinking before. This is simply an excuse for when you do fail once you carry on failing. There is simply no valid reason to drink more on the days following a time that you failed. You can see this as a reset point and a clean sheet to start on the journey once more. Just because you've had a blowout one time, doesn't mean that you're more likely to do that again.
Tip 7: Buy-In
For those of you with families at home you need to get those people to buy into your goals too. If you let those around you know what you're on a mission to achieve, then they can help you along the way. It's easy to loved ones to treat you with alcohol if they think you've had a busy week. Just make sure you set the scene and get the buy-in from those around you who may push you off the metaphorical wagon.
I hope these tips and insights will be useful for you. It's all about commitment though, it will be absolutely useless to you unless you adopt some of the ideas and run with them. Remember, if you fail after three or four days, there is no wagon, you haven't fallen off, and therefore you just carry on with your plan as you set out. As you go you'll find it's more easy to stick to this because what you practice does become permanent.
For those of you who can listen, check out the podcast audio at the bottom of this and enjoy. But do remember do not listen to this part any time you're driving, operating any machinery, or at any other time you need to remain fully alert for you wake. So only listen to this podcast hypnotherapy part if you're in a safe and comfortable place to do so.
Mon, 27 February 2017
This is session number 126 of the Absolute Mind podcast and this session is all about finding your happy. For so many happiness eludes them, in this show I'll share some tips and insights into happiness and how you can apply them.
Surely, happiness needs to be everyone's number one biggest goal. Because if you're able to achieve happiness, then nothing else matters. Is an interesting though, that so many people seem to value things like success, recognition, outcomes, and even financial recognition over happiness?
This podcast I'm going to go through several principles and proven ideas that could allow you to feel more happy, more often.
Tip 1: Find your uniqueness!
This has to be first and foremost because I believe that different things make different people happy. Therefore it's absolute paramount you discover what it is that you so desire that will allow you to feel happy. Think about it for a moment but don't pay any attention to what you think others might feel, or judge about what you uniquely feel would make you happy. This really is personal and has opposed the irony of this podcast is that if it's personal, how is it possible that I can view any tips? haha
Tip 2: Goals
When you decide what it is that would make you happy, you then need to make a plan of how you will achieve those goals. Goal setting is also another way that the science shows us that we can begin to feel more happy once with achieve those goals, albeit for a short period afterwards. But really think about this, what is your plan look like, what you need to do to make yourself happy, what's standing in your way of happiness?
Tip 3: Only the lonely
The science also tells us that people who surround ourselves with other people, who are said to be achieving and happy will also be happy. So think about who you surround yourself with, what are they like, what is their state like? another way I like to think of this is imagine you're like a magnet and you're going to begin to absorb the energy of those around you, are those people close to you the kind of energy is that you need to feel happy?
Tip 4: Ability to change direction
Life isn’t clear. Things don’t always go to plan. So why don’t we plan to things not being clear and not going the way we want to? Most of us find happiness when we achieve the things that we want, and get what we desire. But life gets in the way so the present and always keep in mind that you may need to change direction. Don't find yourself mulling over the negativity of what's been delivered. Embrace the change set a new goal and work towards achieving it.
Tip 5: Bookmark your day
Bookmarking your day really means starting your day and finishing your day with very clear points and intentions. I cover this more in the influence psychology and persuasion podcast, but in a nutshell you need to ask yourself certain questions at the end of every night that direct your attention to what you've achieved. Questions like, what I done today, what I learned today, who has impacted me positively today, why am I better because of today? Questions like this will allow your brain to go and find answers which will be conducive to you feeling happy.
Morning questions are things like: what am I looking forward to much today? Who can I connected today? Whose happiness is going to impact me today? Really have a think to how you can bookmark your day to make yourself feel happier.
Tip 6: Treat yourself
The reason why mothers put their oxygen masks on themselves on a plane first, is because they are the most important person. This is why, you also need to treat yourself like the most important person and reward yourself and look after yourself as much as you can. That can be a treat, something nice, some time out for yourself to enjoy. A treat now and again will allow you to recharge your batteries and allow in more happiness.
Tip 7: Laugh
Who can write a post about happiness without including laughter? Not only is laughter contagious, but it also breeds happiness and humour. The first step here is to include things in your life that do make you laugh. Comedy films, being out with friends and generally anything that you find humorous. the next piece though is about finding humour in other situations where perhaps you would normally. We call this reframing in NLP terms and it really is about generating a humorous situation about an event that has happened to you. This will immediately allow you to feel differently about it.
Tip 8: Accept yourself
In order for all of the above to be helpful it needs to be built on a foundation of acceptance and worthiness. You need to feel that you are worthy of feeling happy. This is a block where some people feel stuck. Remember, you're the one in 1 billion creation who won the first race of your life, and you battled on to get a point were you listening to this now. It really is about learning to love and appreciate yourself and everything you do, will do and have done.
Without exception, happiness is just a feeling. Most people give themselves conditions about feeling certain ways. Like I'll feel happy when I have X or I’ll feel why when I've done Z.
And remember, people think that they want things in order to make them feel happy but actually all we really want are the feelings we think those things will bring us. But feelings always come from within, and you always able to create these whenever you need to. So don't make happiness conditional just feel happy now.
Tue, 7 February 2017
This is session number 125 of the Absolute Mind Podcast and this show is all about overcoming fear associated with Public Speaking.
Public Speaking, also called (Glossophobia) is said to be the thing most people fear, it's so bad, public speaking ranks higher than dying in the top list of phobias. Wow.
Public speaking fear is complex, but the very first issue is the biggest. Whether petrified, nervous, anxious or even excited, non of these feeling are conducive to effective public speaking. But everyone, regardless of their experience will have some of these feelings before giving a speech.
Here are a list of just 5 of the reasons people struggle
Everyone will feel then to some level. Expecting to feel nothing is not possible.
2. Judging you
Regardless of your audience, regardless of how many people you are addressing. you're just not that important that people will sit and judge you. Everyone is in their own world. Plus, would they want to address the worlds biggest phobia?
If you're nervous of public speaking you won't have been practicing much, this means you will most likely be worried if you are able to actually do it. But, they actually want you to do well.
4. Forgetting what to say
Can you imagine what it would be like to stand there in silence and not be able to get a single word out? The great news, no one knows what you were going to say anyway.
People can feel like speaking isn't for them. "It's not my thing". Many, can see people speaking as a job, skill or natural talent. But it's only talking.
Let drop the reasons and excuses and get down to businesses.
5 Tips on improving at Public Speaking